Lessons in Life and Eyeliner with the Little One, Part 1 of 2

No one ever prepares you for the mental elasticity you need to raise a child. There's the extent to which child rearing is physically grueling -- all the baby carrying, lifting, stroller-transferring -- but I've found that the most challenging aspect of being a parent is having to constantly evolve with them. I've always been a particular person who likes order. Sure, I'm definitely a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type of gal, who relishes the emotive and creative motivation. But the defining action pulling it all together for me is always the implementation of structure. And when you've got a kid, that ringleader position you held in your own fantastic circus? Well, let's just say, you're suddenly being outsmarted, outrun, and essentially, completely humbled by the smallest, and possibly the most fascinating person you may have met in recent history.

When my daughter A was born, I had incredible difficulty breast-feeding. I struggled with multiple infections, vascular spasms, and ended up only being able to pump, while still being in a lot of pain. I coped with the desire to provide my daughter breast milk as I simultaneously struggled with the logistical issues of pumping eight times a day, a throbbing chest, and all the other intensity that ensues in those first three months post-birth. I mention this because we've all been through one issue or another with our children, whether it's been with feeding, colic, sleeping, etc. While they are very young, every day is full of new hurdles, as well as new accomplishments. What keeps us going are those grin-breaking moments when our child sits up for the first time, takes her first walk in the park, or says something as simple as "uh-oh."

At nearly 21 months of age now, my daughter has entered her Terrible Twos. It began with language -- with the basic words like ball, dog, car, eat. Then, came her first, and really, only sentence to date: "I want ____." At 7:30 a.m., my alarm every morning is: "JUICE! I WANT JUICE!" Throughout the day, A's list of demands seemingly directs the course of our day. She may want to eat turkey, listen to a song, or (sigh) draw with chalk on her shirt and mine. It also could be as ambiguous as "I want THIS!" and I have no clue what "this" is. Her "this" could be as incomprehensible as wanting to spear her string beans from only a certain angle. And with only that one sentence at her grasp, meltdowns, even if they are short-lived, can be a-many. For a few weeks, I kept asking A: "What do you want?" I later realized that by asking her what she wanted I was only making things more difficult for both of us, as half the time, she's just having fun ordering me around. Furthermore, if she sees me getting flustered, my anxiety possibly fuels her frustration.

As I watched my daughter's personality develop over the last few months, and started to characterize her to others as "willful", I felt tested in a way I had never felt, even through the rigors of graduate school. I felt like my hands were tied because I myself was so strong-willed.  I discussed this with my good friend J, a mom of two sons, and she suggested a different approach: why not drop the thinking of it being a "battle of wills"? I hadn't realized up until that point that I had felt like I was in some sort of contest.

So I've been trying -- to be more flexible. I have to give my daughter a lot of credit for this. It's probably one of the biggest lessons I'm learning in life. I'm a perfectionist at heart, but as a parent you ride a wave that's got unexpected bends, jumps and sometimes you're totally blown off that wave and have to start from scratch,  paddling until you're on the wave again (to use a surfing analogy). When A and I are in the heat of the moment and she's screaming, I try my hardest to take a step back and just be, instead of reacting. It doesn't always work. Sometimes we end up both giggling and dancing, and then at other times she's thrown bubble solution in my eyes, I've got fried egg on my forearm, I'm frazzled and late to an appointment …

But at the end of the day, I look at my life, our life together. The reflection tells me I'm a little tired. My eye make-up may or may not be intact depending on the type of tumbles I've taken. But I'm ready for the next adventure. What does Mama need to learn next, little one?

-N.C.

Disclaimer: Nuy Cho has no affiliation to any of the beauty companies mentioned on www.nuybeauty.com.

Bring on the Blush

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I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream for Sunscreen!

Sun is glorious. Sometimes I crave with great intensity, a trip home, so I can have the luxury of lying on a Hawaiian beach -- where the potent tropical rays will knockout any worry, ache, or perplexity. Even if you're having a great day, the sun makes things better. And let me tell you, people in Hawaii are extremely friendly and for the most part, quite happy. Can you guess why? Probably all that Vitamin D.  But on the flip side, the sun is also extremely damaging to your skin without protection. It prematurely ages you, causes wrinkles, age spots, and can lean to skin cancer. Wearing sunscreen everyday will ensure that you can have your cake and it too.

My mother has been applying sunscreen as soon as she rises, for about 37 years now. I, as well as many of her friends and relatives can vouch for the fact that she has no major wrinkles at 62 years of age. And she resides in sun-sensational Honolulu! So if you can't compel yourself to wear the sunscreen for health reasons, then maybe maintaining your younger looks for longer will motivate you.

I have to admit, I'd never been a big fan of sunscreens (in terms of daily usage) because of how heavy they've been in the past, but a few years ago I started to change my tune when I discovered Christine Chin's Solar Guard SPF 28 ($52). It goes on sheer, feels like a moisturizer and doesn't have that goop-y sunblock feel. And under make-up, it is weightless.

As for sharing sun protection on a daily basis with A, we've never totally succeeded. Body lotions, baby balms: yes. But, my sunscreen goes on before my makeup, and hers is carried around in her stroller or diaper bag, and her skin is even more sensitive than mine. So I stick with the California Baby SPF30+ Sunscreen for A. It took a lot of trial and error to find that one. Previous products that have now hit the trash, oozed and stained our clothes with orange and pink oils, but this one causes no reaction in her uber reactive skin.

I will recommend though, that for long plays on the beach or at the pool, you consider a Rash Guard shirt, which have built in UV protection. They are like the ones surfers wear, and A had this Roxy Girl one ($30) while she was with me in Hawaii. Add on top of that a UV treated, wide-brimmed sun-hat (here's A's by i Play, $10), and if you get distracted and forget to re-apply the sunblock, at least you've got some insurance!

Sunscreen 1-2-3:

The American Academy of Dermatology (ADA) recommends applying a broad spectrum (protecting against both UVA and UVB rays), water-resistant sunscreen, with a sun protection factor (SPF) of at least 30 before exposure to the sun. I use the Christine Chin's Solar Guard SPF28 everyday as a moisturizer, but make sure to put on something with a higher SPF on days I know I'll be out getting some serious sun on with A. Here are some sheer, light to the touch, and quickly absorbing options for you to try:

1) Great under make-up: Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Liquid Daily Sunblock, SPF 70 ($13).

2) Convenience of a spray: Paula' Choice Ultra-Light Weightless Finish SPF 30 Sunscreen Spray ($8).

3) To finalize: a quick tip sheet from the ADA on being safe in the sun.


Special Note: Thanks to my good friends, L. and N. -- fellow parents of A's dear amigos who so kindly helped me test sunscreens this past week.


-N.C.


Disclaimer: Nuy Cho has no affiliation to any of the beauty companies mentioned on www.nuybeauty.com.

Eye Want Color!

Spring is all about change -- the scent of the air, the warmth, the empowering sunlight. And as the season's scenery changes, you can't help but have a sunnier outlook. New York City has been ripe with the bounty of brighter months ahead as winter's cold and shivering tail zigzagged and disappeared into a street corner. A and I celebrated this week, by going on a picnic with our dear friends, drawing our names and faces in our favorite park with chalk, and donning floral frocks and denim minis. To top off the cheerier weather, I also rolled out my eyeshadow palettes for some play. The thing about colored eye shadows is that if you don't overdo them, and keep it minimal, they're actually not as hard to pull off as you might think!

All it really takes is a few strokes, literally. Try a new color! Play around with eye shadows you may already have lying around, untouched in your vanity. Don't be afraid to try out that army green or navy blue from the beauty counter gift-bag.  Don't ever assume that a color doesn't work for you without trying it on first. You may be pleasantly surprised.

I am wearing Shu Uemura's Pressed Eye Shadow ME600 ($20)

Eye Shadow 1-2-3: 

Start with a clean face / clean lids. It's up to you whether or not you want to first line the eyes with some sort of liner. If it is part of your routine, then go for it. If not, don't worry about it. But, if you do line your eyes, stick with black, as it is the most neutral, and will go with whatever eye shadow color you choose.

1) Take an eyeshadow brush that has shorter, firm bristles, like my 5R Kolinsky by Shu Uemura ($58) or you can try Kashuk Tool's Small Eye Shadow Brush ($10), and dab a little bit of shadow on it. Don't get too much on the brush, and blow off any excess shadow before applying. Apply a very fine and thin layer of color at the lash line. And as you work from the inner to outer area of your lid with your brush in nice, steady, soft, strokes, start to fan out the color to widen slightly like a, narrow, sideways `V' toward your temples.

2) The trick to doing quick, risk-free colored eyeshadow, is to minimize the amount of color applied. You don't need a lot of color to make an impact. Keep the color close to the lash line, and refrain from painting big, crowd-stopping blocks of color between your eyes and brows. A little goes a long way. And by keeping the shadow on the light and slim side, it spares you room for error. Think of it as more like lining your eyes liberally with the shadow, rather than shading. And just stick to the top lid.

3) Finish with some mascara, blush and clear lip gloss.

-N.C.

Disclaimer: Nuy Cho has no affiliation to any of the beauty companies mentioned on www.nuybeauty.com.